Dear penis, I don't think I like you anymore. You used to watch me shave. Now all you do is stare at the floor. Oh, dear penis I don't like you anymore.

It used to be you and me, a paper towel, and a dirty magazine, That's all we needed to get by. Now it seems things have changed, I think that you're the one to blame. Dear penis, I don't like you anymore. Now he sings.

Dear Rodney, I don't think I like you anymore. 'cause when you get to drinkin', you put me places I've never been before. Dear Rodney, I don't like you anymore.

Why can't we just get a grip on our man-to-hand relationship. And come to terms with truly how we feel. If we put our heads together, we'd just stay home forever.

Dear penis, I think I like you afterall.

Oh and Rodney, while you are shavin', shave my balls.